• Be Out, Be Proud, Be Jewish
• Coming Out Workshop Series
• President's Address
• From Strength To Strength
• Rabbi's Address
• Legal Issues Workshop
• Have You Written Your Life Story?
• The Wages of Sin: Sex and Disease
• Experience the Benefits of Membership
• Members Learn to Lead a Shiva Minyan
• B.A. Celebrates Shabbat Across America
• Why is This Night So Fabulous?
• Help Wanted!
• Horizons 2000 Approaches
• More Notes from the UAHC Biennial
• A Visit to the Conservative Rabbinical Assembly

Gay Pride Day is fast approaching, and Beth Ahavah plans to celebrate with our usual enthusiasm. Pride Day this year is Sunday, June 11. The day will start at the William Way Community Center at 10:00 a.m. with a pre-parade brunch at a cost of $5.00. Contact the synagogue by June 8 to RSVP.

After fortifying ourselves, we will proceed gaily forward to the parade staging area around the corner at 13th and Locust Streets, where the B.A. contingent will attempt to break yet another synagogue record for marchers. Last year we numbered over 20, and we hope to have still more this year!

The parade will end at the festival at Penns Landing, where we will be hosting a table along with several other g/l/b/t organizations. The festival has traditionally been a great time to meet up with friends and enjoy the food, entertainment, and sheer atmosphere that you can only achieve when a crowd that is this much fun starts to party.

The following Friday, June 16, B.A. will host a Pride Shabbat. Celebrate Shabbat as only B.A. can, with a service that will emphasize our pride in ourselves as both Jews and gays and lesbians.

Why a series of workshops on coming out issues? Because one of the most important tasks Congregation Beth Ahavah does is to provide a safe place for people of all ages to come out. We help people with that task and make sure the rest of the community is aware that this is something we do.

With that in mind, the membership committee put together four workshops. In this issue you will read about the Legal Issues Workshop that was co-sponsored with the Women's Chavurah and the Men's Club, and the Coming Out To Ourselves Workshop. While this issue is at the printers, there will be a third workshop: Coming Out at Work, held as part of the 25th anniversary weekend celebrations on May 21. Here's the information on the fourth workshop:

It's not just that coming out is so hard. Then we have to come out to our families. And oy, we have to come out to our Jewish families. Double oy! And all of the tsurus they can give you. Come talk about what it was like for you to come out to your Jewish family, or why you haven't come out to them, or why you have only come out to some of them. Panelists will include Jewish members of PFLAG along with Beth Ahavah members with different coming out experiences.

I spent today rooting around in the archives and looking at photographs and old papers that document the 25 years of our history. It caused me to reflect on the past two years that I have been President of B.A. (especially since this is my last President's Address). While I look forward to "passing the torch" to the next President, I also am able to look back with pride at the growth of our congregation. Many things have happened during the past two years (which I list in no particular order):

We have gone from having Shabbat services on first, third and fifth Friday nights to celebrating Shabbat as a community every Friday night. We have held sukkah building parties for Sukkot at a member's home in the suburbs. This year, the Purim Megillah reading had more people in attendance than I can remember in the 15 years I have been a member of Beth Ahavah. In 1998 and 1999, the Purim Gayla was a smashing success. We have celebrated b'nai mitzvahs and mourned the death of members. The Men's Club continues to hold their annual overnight to Rehoboth Beach. The women of B.A. attended the Women of Reform Judaism Conference, which was held at Temple Brith Achim in King of Prussia. The Erev Christmas Chinese Dinner has become one of our biggest social events. B.A. began a new tradition of having a brunch before the Gay Pride Parade, thus ensuring a great turn out for the parade. In all probability, the 25th Anniversary Tribute Book will turn out to be our biggest one-time fundraiser ever. By the time you read this, we will have celebrated 25 years of existence with our 25th Anniversary Weekend Extravaganza and I feel confident enough of its success to say, well in advance, that "A good time was had by all."

Members of B.A. participated in a class where we learned how to make and blow the shofar. We participated in PrideFest 2000 by hosting Hagai El-Ad from the Jerusalem Open House who spoke on the G/L movement in Israel. Congregation Beth Ahavah formed its own team and participated in the AIDS Walk as a sub-group of the Jewish Working Group on AIDS. In May of 1999, we held a party for Rabbi Linda Holtzman to express our thanks for her many years of support, friendship and service. B.A. has developed our own web page where you can go to get the latest information about what is happening at the synagogue. We received a planning grant from the Shefa Fund/Pooled Fund for Jewish Activism on Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual and Transgendered Issues to develop a Teen Drop-In Center and will soon be hiring a part-time coordinator to oversee it.

Most noteworthy in my mind is the pleasure that I had in serving on the rabbi search committee and of inviting Rabbi Liz Rolle to serve as the rabbi of Congregation Beth Ahavah on a part-time basis beginning November 1, 1998. It is with great sadness, however, that the Board of Directors recently accepted her resignation (see From Strength to Strength on the following page). Rabbi Rolle has accepted a full-time position at a synagogue in Stamford, Connecticut, as of July 1, 2000. I know that you will join me in wishing her well in her new position.

However, before I pass the torch to the next president, I want to acknowledge the many people who have made the past two years possible. I want to thank my partner for all of the support and help she has given me. Many times she acted as my "personal secretary," making phone calls, helping me to organize my to-do lists, as well as doing most of the chores around the house. I want to thank Rabbi Rolle for her support and calming words of wisdom, many of which were shared over dinner at the Snow White Diner. I want to thank the board of directors for keeping me on my toes, debating policy and procedures, sometimes with ardent enthusiasm but always with a sense of menschlichkeit and a respect for one another. I want to thank the committee chairs for making this synagogue run as smoothly as it does (and allowing me the luxury of not having to sit in on every meeting, knowing that the tasks that needed to be done were in your capable hands). And finally, I want to thank all of the volunteers and members of Beth Ahavah. It is your time and financial support that makes our congregation the wonderful place it is today. Todah rabah.

L'shalom,

(Adapted from a letter to the congregation April 25, 2000)

by Rie Brosco

During the board of directors meeting on April 13, Rabbi Rolle told the members of the Board that she had accepted a full-time position at a synagogue in Stamford, Connecticut, as of July 1, 2000. The following day, she sent a letter to the members of our congregation, telling them of her decision.

The announcement of Rabbi Rolle's resignation has raised concerns and questions about the impact that her leaving will have on the congregation. Although Rabbi Rolle's departure will necessitate some short-term changes, the board of directors and I want to assure you that Congregation Beth Ahavah continues to be in the same strong position to grow in the years to come. The national and regional offices of the UAHC have assured us that they will give us their full support in our search for another rabbi.

I am soliciting input from the Rabbi Liaison Committee and other standing committees to bring to the Executive Committee and the Board of Directors in order to plan for this time of change. The long-range planning committee will be discussing how Rabbi Rolle's departure impacts the long-range goals the synagogue. The High Holy Days working group and ritual committee will continue to work with Rabbi Rolle, who will continue to serve our congregation through the end of June, preparing to make the High Holy Days as successful as always. The membership committee is planning its recruitment strategies for the coming year, thus ensuring that Congregation Beth Ahavah will continue to increase its membership base. The Finance Committee will be meeting soon to examine our current financial status and to develop a strong financial plan for the next five years.

It is with sadness that I write this, my final article for the Shofar. As most of you know, at the end of June I will be leaving B.A. to serve as rabbi of Temple Sinai in Stamford, Connecticut.

It seems only yesterday that some of you gathered at a member's house, following the sukkah building, and grilled me to see if you thought I could be the rabbi of Beth Ahavah. In the last year and a half, I have come to know many of you and to know the special place that B.A. is. Now it is easy for me to understand why some were hesitant to allow me the privilege of serving as your rabbi.

And it has been a privilege. And a challenge. And a delight.

But mostly, it has been a learning experience. At least, speaking from my side, our time together has been full of learning. One of the most important lessons I have learned is that of diversity and pluralism.

When I was first ordained - and even sometimes today - people will approach me and ask if I know some woman rabbi. Often, it may be someone whose name is not even familiar to me. But the questioner seems to think, "One woman rabbi is the same as the next." And I may wonder how a person could think that.

So it is in the g/l/b/t/q community. I have learned that, like Jews everywhere, each of you is different. Unique. You have taught me, through your stories, your actions, your questions that each of you brings your wealth of life experience to your Judaism and to Beth Ahavah. Some come with commitment, some with questioning and even doubt. Some know a lot about Judaism and some know little. Some come seeking. Some come giving. All are necessary to create the whole which is the congregation of B.A.

And I have learned about inclusiveness. One of the most important attributes of B.A. is the warm welcome awarded to anybody who ventures through the doors. No matter what a rabbi does to try to bring improvement or change to a congregation, it remains a fact that when that rabbi leaves - even after 40 or 50 years with a synagogue - the congregation's basic personality stays the same. I know that B.A. will always be the warm, inclusive place it has been. This should be a source of great pride.

I leave you with best wishes and strongest prayers that you may go from strength to strength in the coming 25 years. Memories of my time at B.A. will be cherished always.

L'shalom

What has your life been about? For many of us the one document that answers this question best is a will. Through bequests in a will one tells their life story. Which relatives were we so connected with that we want them to benefit after our death, and which relatives should get not one red cent?! Which causes and organizations played such significant roles in our lives that we want to perpetuate their existence and programs for years after we can no longer participate or benefit? Where did we volunteer and meet many of our friends, or maybe a life partner? Your will tells this story. If you haven't written a will, the state where you live has written one for you and you may be surprised (and dismayed) to learn who will end up with your assets!

Many charitable and religious organizations rely heavily on the generosity of their supporters through bequests, and Congregation Beth Ahavah is no exception. Beth Ahavah has saved thousands of dollars in outside copying costs because of a copier purchased with part of a bequest left by a member who died of AIDS. Educational programs were made possible by another bequest that enabled the congregation to underwrite expenses and secure sought-after speakers. And most recently, Ina Smilk, a beloved member who died too young of cancer, left a generous bequest to demonstrate her commitment to Congregation Beth Ahavah and the meaningful role our community played in her life.

What has your life been about? Whether you are at Beth Ahavah every week or once a year at High Holy Day services, what will you do to ensure that future generations of lesbian, gay, and bisexual Jews will have the same opportunity to experience their sexuality and Judaism at Beth Ahavah just as you did? And if you can't financially support Beth Ahavah now, your will is a wonderful way to make that contribution later. Write your life story and write a "chapter" about Congregation Beth Ahavah. What has your life been about?

A Book Discussion

On June 7th, at 7 p.m, Peter Lewis Allen, scholar and B.A. member, will talk about his recently published book, The Wages of Sin: Sex and Disease, Past and Present. In his book, published by the University of Chicago Press, Peter explains that leprosy, bubonic plague, and AIDS have all, in their time, been attributed to and considered punishment for the sins of the sufferer. Often the gruesome "cures" killed the patients. Come to Beth Ahavah and meet the author. Hear all about masturbation, lovesickness, and "the just rewards of unbridled lust," and how ancient views on sex and sin continue to shape religious life, medical practice and private habits.

Can you believe it? In late June, all members will receive their annual membership renewal forms. We hope once again to mail forms with all of the demographic information pre-printed. Also in that mailing will be the schedule for High Holy Days, upcoming events, the new dues structure, and much more. So watch your mail carefully. Also, please remember that you will not be able to renew if you still owe money for this year, unless you've made automatic payment arrangements. So clean up those overdue bills now!

To all non-members out there, yes you, the folks who did not complete a membership form last year and pay dues, you will receive a membership application in July. So what are you waiting for? The members only pool party is on August 13, and the High Holy Days are just around the corner.

Why be a B.A. member? B.A. is a Philadelphia institution. It is the area's only gay/lesbian/bisexual synagogue. If you're reading this newsletter, you are most likely g/l/b and Jewish, or feel a sense of identity with our community. And we feel a sense of identity with you. So let's make the shidach (match) complete. Fill out your membership form.

We want your involvement and we need your financial support to function. But Beth Ahavah is more than four walls in Old City. It is a community. That means we can offer you a place to pray, learn, make friends, find a family, and possibly bring home that nice Jewish doctor your mother always asked about. A place to be creative, learn new skills, and utilize underused ones, whether you want an outlet for social activism, a beach chair in Rehoboth with the Men's Club, a movie night potluck with the women, or just a place to pray on Friday or High Holy Days in safe gay/lesbian/bisexual space.

Could I ever lead a shiva minyan? When Rabbi Liz Rolle offered a workshop on the subject, I thought I'd find out for myself. Apparently there were at least six other people in our congregation who have asked themselves the same question, and on Monday, April 10th, our rabbi convened a "How to" class at Beth Ahavah.

The shiva minyan is essentially an evening service held at the home of a friend or relative of a person who just died. A meditation is added to the service, and the kaddish is given special attention. That's pretty simple, but there are concerns about the event and how to make it happen in an orderly and helpful way.

I also learned a few things that a shiva minyan is not. It is not an opportunity to teach people Jewish ritual or how to pray. And it is not time to deliver a sermon or eulogy. It is a gathering in somebody's home where, especially in our congregation, there will be people of many religious, ethnic, and sexual identities. The bottom line is that they are all there to comfort the bereaved, honor the memory of the recently-deceased, and to make use of a Jewish tradition that helps that happen.

I knew I could figure it out when Rabbi Rolle took us step-by-step through the process. She used a prayer book published by the Reform movement, Gates of Prayer for Weekdays and at a House of Mourning. It is gender-sensitive, large print, with plenty of English with transliterations. Funeral homes make those prayerbooks available when you ask for them.

Shabbat Across America started with Rabbi Rolle recapping key events of the previous week. This recap allowed her to lead services using the method of centering. Centering is when we look back and focus on what we experienced each day since the last Shabbat. It was centering that would enable us to come into the spirit of coming together meditatively and through prayer. A great deal of Rabbi Rolle's centering revolved around the previous week, when she had been at the Central Conference of American Rabbi's (CCAR) annual meeting in Greensboro, NC.

Yes, Shabbat Across America may have once been a simple tool by the UAHC or the CCAR to bring unaffiliated Jews back to share a Shabbat with their friends and family. However, this night had an added bonus. Rabbi Rolle shared her experience of voting in favor of the resolution that would enable Reform rabbis to officiate at same-sex ceremonies marking a lifelong commitment to share mutual care and love with one another. This resolution was a long time coming, according to our rabbi. And in true Reform fashion, the resolution is not binding on any Rabbi. As Rabbi Rolle explained, this disclaimer really was not necessary since all CCAR resolutions are not binding on Rabbis who disagree. And while it's unlikely that all of us will clamor for commitment ceremonies, we now have that option sanctioned by the Reform movement!

This Shabbat Across America was different than any other. Earlier, we came together for a familiar potluck, with food that was both ample and delicious. Everyone brought enough for at least four others, so there were plenty of choices.

Well, it was a night unlike all other nights. It was the B.A. Community Seder, led by our very own Rabbi Liz Rolle. The office at B.A. had booked all seats at least two weeks prior to the event. Some might say it was held late, but it was on its usual 15th and 16th of Nisan 5760. Those folks way back in the 20th century just couldn't keep up or get it straight (You will, of course, forgive that unfortunate expression!)

We gathered, laughed, schmoozed, and ate some great food. There were vegetarian delights as well as baked chicken. Plus soda ,juice and, of course, four cups of wine or grape juice.

We've said it over and over again: the most important asset of any synagogue is its members. As an all volunteer organization, we need both ongoing help for committees and once-in-a-while help for special events. Please consider offering some of your time for the following volunteer opportunities:

Ongoing
	Press Release Writing: Work from home if you have a computer and email! We need someone to write 1-2 press releases per month. Duties are: 1 meeting every two months for planning the press release schedule Calling event coordinators at B.A. to obtain event info for the press release Typing the press release and getting it approved by two board members (via email is fine) Sending the final press release to local media. Skills required: Ability to write and to stick to a schedule. You will receive support and guidance from B.A.'s publicity coordinator. Contact the synagogue for more information.
Once-in-a-While
	Staff a table at the Gay Pride Festival: Sunday, June 11 at Penns Landing 60 minute and 90 minute shifts available. Hand out literature, answer questions, and schmooze with anyone interested in learning about B.A. Set up/Clean up brunch before the Pride Parade: Sunday June 11th at William Way. We need volunteers to do any of the following: Pick up food before Bring food, tablecloths, etc. to William Way on Sunday morning Set up tables and put out food Clean up before the parade.

Please contact the synagogue by phone or email if you are willing to help with either of these opportunities.

Back to top of this page.

The conference fee is $325 until July 20th. Accommodations at the Hilton for the conference are available for $96 per night when you mention the conference. For more information, contact Horizons 2000 at 732-650-1010, email them at conf@njhav.org, or visit the conference web page at http://www.njhav.org.

Back to top of this page.

"They know that community cannot be divorced from obligation. My community by definition has a claim on me. And so they realize the first and most essential element of community is the commitment to show up. Everyone who joins the congregation is taught that there is one universal requirement of membership: participation. Every member is expected to worship, to learn, to be involved in Gemulut Hasidim. The Rabbi doesn't require you; the Board doesn't impose it on you. The members take the obligation on themselves, because what they seek can be achieved only through everyone's participation. Joyful worship that engages minds and spirits; deep sustained relationships; values shared and translated into significant action; all of them in the end come down to showing up. You can't know one another, you can't know the service, you can't sing your hearts out unless you're there week after week, steadily, consistently, faithfully… Time is never found, only made."

Back to top of this page.

My friend and I graduated from college in 1985. He was off to rabbinical school and I to my first job. How ironic then that in some ways for me it was still 1965, and I was a two-year- old being spoon fed. I took for granted both the Judaism and heterosexual script I was given as a toddler. Today, as I have recreated myself, both Jewishly and as a gay man, I take neither for granted. But then on the other hand, I appreciate both more. And I would not have it any other way.