• Mom, I Have Something To Tell You . . .
• New Ark Arrives at B.A.
• President’s Address
• Rabbi's Address
• Women’s Chavurah/WRJ Jam-Packed January
• So Nu? You Want Something More?
• Tu B’Shevat Seder
• Pridefest is Coming!
• AIDS Walk Philly 2000 Update
• More Bubbe's "Chicken Soup" Financial Advice
• Let us Educate You!
• 2001 Annual World Congress Board Meeting in Munich
• UAHC Events

The Iron Gate Theater at The University of Pennsylvania was sold out on February 3^rd for the benefit performance of Mother/Son, a one-man play depicting the challenges and triumphs a gay man and his Jewish mother experience as they go through his coming out process.

Members of B.A., PFLAG, and the greater Philadelphia community came to watch, laugh, and in many cases, identify with the experiences of the two main characters. Actor/author Jeff Solomon portrayed both Brad Levy and his mother Mindy as they talked, argued, and ultimately came to understand each other much better through Brad’s coming out process. Solomon clearly struck a chord with many audience members, both from the g/l/b/t community and from PFLAG.

Have you been to services lately? If you have, surely you’ve noticed our new Mogen David (star of David)-shaped ark that adorns the bimah of our sanctuary. The search for a new ark began when our old ark (kindly donated to us by a member) suffered some damage a few years ago on one of the great "schleps" on High Holy Days. Our president at the time, also served on the ritual committee. She went online at an Internet site for UAHC Temple leadership and placed a request, asking for a portable ark. Rabbi Philip Bentley of Temple Shalom in Floral Park, NY, responded. Their congregation, which is now celebrating its 50^th year, had recently replaced its pine wood and mahogany veneer ark and its base unit, built by its founding members. It was not a portable ark, but it was ours if we wanted it.

Our president and her partner went to look at the ark, which was housed in Temple Shalom’s attic in Queens, NY. They brought back to the ritual committee Polaroid pictures and diagrams detailing the ark’s measurements. We measured. It would fit! However, we needed to refinish it. And how would we cover the cost to ship this heavy ark?

Shalom!

Usually, I spend the bulk of my article updating readers on what has gone on at B.A. since the last Shofar came out. In this edition, I would rather ask you to look to the future, as opposed to the past.

Although I am now constantly reminded that I am no longer one of B.A.’s youngest members, I still like to feel young by reminding myself that when our congregation was established in 1975, I was 4 years old. What did I know of "gay" or "lesbian" at that time? My world consisted of rocks, bugs, my dog, my playmates, and yes I will admit (perhaps a bit of foreshadowing), playing hairdresser with my neighbor’s Barbie dolls. Yet that year, while I was being a little boy, five gay men had enough insight to know that in the future, there would be a need for a g/l/b/t Jewish community in Philadelphia. They knew they had to build a home for themselves, their friends, and for those of us who may be coming in the future. To them and God, every day in my prayers, I say thank you for your foresight. Thank you for making a place for me when you thought of the future.

Having spoken with most of our membership at different times about the future, I can tell you that we have quite a collection of dreams, hopes, and plans for B.A. One consistent theme, however, in every person I have spoken with is that they see B.A. in the future. Our members expect our congregation to be with them throughout their lives, as do I. We want our congregation to be here for those just coming out, for our commitment ceremonies, holidays, happy times, and the sad as well. But folks, I will tell you, the only way we can continue on our path of success is with your support.

When I say "support" I am speaking on many levels. The first is membership. It is our goal for the congregation’s membership to continue to grow. If you are reading this article right now and are not a member, ask yourself "why not?" You may say "I only go to the synagogue on High Holy Days" or "I can come often so why bother," or a whole myriad of reasons. But to you I ask: "Do you want our organization to be here to serve as your connection to the g/l/b/t Jewish community?" Also, if that is not a connection you need now, do you at least want it to be there for someone else? Perhaps for the 18-year-old who is just coming out and can’t figure out where to go, but doesn’t want to end up in a bar. Perhaps for the 42-year old heterosexually married person who is coming out for the first time, alone, frightened, rejected and needing a safe space. Perhaps for one of the many couples we see to the chuppah each year. If not for you for them! Remember we are a g/l/b/t community and community, by definition, takes care of its members.

Another level of support for the community is contributions. It may be giving time, possibly working on a committee or assisting one evening at a mailing. Or it may be financial. Whether you are a member or not, you will notice that included in every edition of the Shofar month is a place where you can make a financial contribution in honor or memory of someone or some special event. I encourage you to review the various funds and ask yourself in making a donation, which one speaks to you and the reason you are making the donation. For example: If you are making a donation in honor of someone who is very committed to caring for the sick, you may choose to donate to Bikor Holim. If you are donating perhaps in memory of someone who was very committed to women’s issues you may want to make a donation to our Women of Reform Judaism (WRJ) Chapter. Donations can be anonymous if you wish. Otherwise, they are listed in the Shofar, and an acknowledgement card is sent as you specify. These donations are tax-deductible. It is through this type of financial support that we are able to also grow as a community.

As I write this article, we are a bit more than a week away from Purim. Many of us are familiar with the Purim story from the Megillah (Scroll) of Esther, another one of the many stories in our tradition of the Jewish people triumphing over persecution. What sets Purim apart is the high level of plot and intrigue, all of which really revolves around hidden identities and the unmasking of who people really are.

Many people at B.A. are all-too-familiar with the need to create a mask, to hide behind a false identity to protect their jobs, status in their families of origin, or place in the community. For these people, persecution and fear are not things that happen in far-off Persia, or centuries ago but are very much present realities.

Masks are complex things and we see that complexity at Purim. We wear costumes and masks on this holiday as a way of having fun, being something we really are not, or playing with identities and play-acting roles we don't normally fulfill. It is a way to expand the borders of who we are and what we can become. But these are the voluntary masks, the ones we can put on and take off at will, teasing each other and ourselves with the infinite possibilities of each human being.

But on another level, many masks are not voluntary. I have talked to men at B.A. who say they take their earrings off when they go to work and hope no one notices the holes, or women who say they don more stereotypical "feminine" garb in their professional life, hoping to separate their identities. Of course, those in the transgendered world deal constantly with masks in profound ways.

Where and how one comes out is a very private, very individual decision. We have one heroic model of coming out in our Purim story. Esther, the woman who was chosen to be queen because of her looks, because she is so very beautiful and pleasing to the king, ironically lives behind quite another face, a face that could easily, when beheld in the glory of its truth, be viewed as anathema to the king. At a time when being Jewish meant certain death, Esther unabashedly comes out, fully embracing her Judaism. For her, pride in who she is and the community she is a part of are crucial. She will not wear a mask that will allow her to pass, and also require her to sacrifice her integrity and her self. Esther refuses to mask herself. To celebrate her courage, we play with masks, but only because we know it is play, only because we know it is safe. It is fun to have a masquerade because we know when we can call it quits.

On Purim, we take back the masks. We choose how we want to mask ourselves and we choose when we want to unmask. We do it because we are not under persecution as Jews, the way Esther was. But for the g/l/b/t community, another parallel reality remains: While it is generally safe to unmask as Jews, it is not safe to unmask one's sexuality and partners, the hurts and the struggles, the love and the joy. Esther is a role model of coming out, yes, but we must remember that she also knew the stakes. She knew that her coming out as a Jew could cost her her life. For that reason, she asked her people to observe a three-day period of prayer and fasting before she came out to the king. She realized the huge nature of unmasking, and knew it was a time that called for centering and reflection.

It was a cold afternoon in January when 15 warm-blooded members of Beth Ahavah’s Women’s Chavurah/WRJ congregated at Sister’s for their fabulous brunch. Not only was the food delicious and the conversation titillating, it didn’t cost the women who attended a single penny! It was the Chavurah/WRJ’s way to say "thank you" to the women who joined the WRJ this year. Being able to attend the "Paid Up Brunch" would be reason enough to join the Women’s Chavurah/WRJ, but there are many other equally compelling reasons to join. Being a member of the WRJ connects you with literally a world-wide network of Reform Jewish women and allows you to access many resources. You don’t have to be a member (although we’d love for you to join) to participate in most of the other wonderful events planned and sponsored by the Chavurah.

Okay, so it’s the end of February and we’re just about ready to have our next Women’s Chavurah/WRJ planning meeting. Wait! Don’t throw down your Shofar in a fit of "Oy." This is not a solicitation for volunteers (God forbid), but we do need your help. We have tried very hard to make the monthly events varied enough so there is something for everyone.

Tu B’Shevat, the New Year of the trees, has always been a joyous occasion at Beth Ahavah, and this year was no exception. The ritual committee put together a beautiful Seder and spread, including delicious temptations like figs, nuts, pomegranates, olives, and grains to symbolize the beginning of Spring in Israel.

This was Rabbi Marsha Pik-Nathan's first Tu B’Shevat with us, and she put together her own seder booklet. Copies were placed on the tables next to our other Tu B’Shevat Seder booklets and we drew on both to add a new level of depth to the meaning of this deliciously joyous day.

B.A. will be sponsoring two programs at Pridefest on Sunday, May 6^th. They are:

Finding a Community Outside the Bars for the GLBT Jewish Person

B.A. President David Wohlsifer and Rabbi Marsha Pik-Nathan will talk about our identities at g/l/b/t Jews, and the ways we search out, find, and support community. Temple University Center City, room 509 from 1:00-2:15.

Sexual Minorities in Israel

In little more than a decade, the State of Israel has gone from a society that marginalized gay people to one that offers one of the most extensive protections for sexual minorities in the world.

by Bubbe

Hello my wonderful B.A. kinder. Your Bubbe is back from South Beach where she had a fabulous winter. Bubbe always comes back in time for Passover so she can make gefilte fish. Do you make your own gefilte fish for Pesach? What's that - you buy the fish in the jar and doctor it with spices. Feh! Don't give that chazari to Bubbe if you invite her to your seder because Bubbe likes the real thing.

Of course, Bubbe came home to problems. Oy vey. Bubbe read in the newspaper that George W. wants to give government money to "faith-based" organizations. So nu, George W., whose faith are you talking about? Not Bubbe's, I'm sure. Then Bubbe looked at the tax return her accountant sent her and Bubbe owes taxes! Bubbe doesn't need George W. to decide which faith-based charities will get Bubbe's tax money.

Can you guess what your Bubbe did immediately? She called Chad on his cell phone. Chad is Bubbe's young, buff, to-die-for good looking, Jewish tax attorney. Chad was at his gym on 12^th Street, where he always seems to be. Chad and Bubbe met that afternoon at a coffee shop down the street from the gym.

Chad was with his friend, Zack. That Zack was some cutie with his blond tipped hair and Tom Cruise smile. And guess what Bubbe learned about Chad? Chad was in the military. Chad met Zack when they were both in the 12^th Air Command. Bubbe is so proud of Chad that he served his country and stays in contact with his bunk mates. Such a mensch! If only Chad could meet a nice Jewish girl.

Bubbe told Chad and Zack her problem. You should know that Zack is an accountant. Zack said that to reduce Bubbe's taxes she should make more contributions to her favorite charities, and even her shul (synagogue). Bubbe itemizes and more charitable contributions would give her more tax deductions. Zack said Bubbe could give appreciated stock to the shul, but Bubbe's tech stocks are in the crapper and she doesn't want to give those stocks away now. Bubbe would love to give more to her shul, but Bubbe is not very disciplined about making those contributions. Then Chad, smart Jewish lawyer that he is, had a fabulous idea.

Chad said that Bubbe should contact her shul and have the treasurer make arrangements to charge Bubbe's credit card each month for a specified amount. That way Bubbe doesn't have to write a check, and each month Bubbe can make a contribution to her shul, with no effort. Bubbe will have more tax deductions, owe less taxes, and Bubbe has decided who to give her money to, not George W. And guess what else, my B.A. kinder? Bubbe will get air miles on her credit card for the contributions to her shul, and Bubbe loves those air miles. Your Bubbe is plotzing, this is so fabulous. Call the treasurer at your Beth Ahavah and tell him that you want to do the same thing. And if he can't figure it out, tell him to call your Bubbe and Bubbe will set him straight.

Bubbe was going to give Chad and Zack her recipe for gefilte fish, but both Chad and Zack said they don't do fish. Just then two handsome Marines in uniform walked by. Chad jumped up, paid the bill, and he and Zack took off after the Marines. Knowing what a mensch Chad is, I bet he offers them home hospitality.

Have a wonderful Passover, kinder.

Bubbe

For information how you can contribute to Beth Ahavah, or to include Beth Ahavah in your estate plan, call the office at 215-923-2003.

Letters To Bubbe

Dear Bubbe,

I've always been close to my grandmother, so when the Shofar started printing articles from Bubbe, well, I became an instant fan. I know you're not my grandmother. However, I think most Jewish people feel a kinship to any Bubbe.

I'm writing to tell you I made a will for the first time in my life. I've started to accumulate assets that would be of meaning when I die, which God willing won't happen for many centuries. After reading your articles and seeing those blurbs about including Beth Ahavah in my will, I took this to heart.

Beth Ahavah has meant a lot to me. I've been a dues paying member for ten years. I was pleased to find a way to give to the synagogue after I die. That was to include B.A. in my will. So when I do finally go over the rainbow, Beth Ahavah will be getting a nice share of my estate. Is this a mitzvah, Bubbe?

Now, for something else that I've been curious about: this man Chad. Is he really as suave as you say? I would really love to meet him. I think his looks.....I mean financial sechel, would be very helpful as I continue to build my estate.

Do tell us more about Chad and the ways we can help our synagogue. Thanks for all your advice, Bubbe, and if you have the need to make a nice pot of chicken soup, I can help you. I'll even give you a big knish.....I mean kiss. See, Bubbe, I love to eat. I'll give Chad a big kiss, too. Oh, I mean I'll give Chad a knish and you the kiss. Oy vey, Bubbe, I do need help.

Your loving fan,

David

Dear David,

What a sweet boychik you must be. It's a wonderful thing you've done by putting Beth Ahavah in your Will. Yes, it's a mitzvah! You should feel good about what your mitzvah will mean for all the Davids (and Doreens) who will come to Beth Ahavah for years and years into the future.

Bubbe told Chad about you and he said any friend of Bubbe's is a friend of Chad's. Bubbe has an idea. Maybe you, Chad, and Zack could do a threesome. You know, go out together looking for nice Jewish girls. Maybe Chad could introduce you to some of his military friends, too, knowing how into uniforms you are.

And just one more thing, David. Don't ever think that Bubbe needs your help to make a chicken soup. Bubbe has been making chicken soup since before you were a gleam in your parents' eyes.

Thanks for the letter, David. It was my first, and we all know how special the first time is.

Love,

Bubbe

Interested in advanced Jewish Adult Education? Want to study texts from the Prophets or other Jewish writings through the centuries, or Jewish Ethics, Literature, Philosophy, more?

We're collecting names of people who might be interested in joining some type of study group or class sponsored by B.A. Study will be mostly in English, but the ability to decode Hebrew (i.e. you can sound out words and follow when someone else is reading) is required. Location, time, content and cost will all be determined by the participants. Interested? Please contact the synagogue at 215-923-2003 or e-mail BethAhavah@aol.com

The World Congress of Gay, and Lesbian Jewish Organizations’ Annual Board Meeting will take place Wednesday, June 13 and Thursday, June 14, 2001, in Munich, Germany. It will be immediately followed by the 6^th European-Israeli Regional Conference of Gay, Lesbian, Bisexual, and Transgender Jews.

The Regional Conference will take place in the urban heart of Munich on June 14^th through 17^th 2001. The conference will open with a reception at the Kunstlerhaus, and will continue with sightseeing, entertainment, socializing, a variety of seminars (in English), and Erev Shabbat services at the Beth Shalom synagogue. Closing ceremonies, and a dance party, will be at the Vollmarhaus. The conference sites are also near Munich’s gay quarter, known as the Glockenbachviertel, located between the Marienplatz and the Isar River. For further information on the conference sites, visit www.kuenstlerhaus-muc.de and www.vollmarhaus.de.

Kunstlerhaus is next to the former site of Munich’s main synagogue. Before the war, Munich had three synagogues: the main synagogue (Liberal), the orthodox synagogue in the Herzog-Rudolf-Strasse, and the Reichenbachsynagogue (Eastern European service), today known as the Israelitische Kultusgemeinde and still Orthodox. Today, in addition to the Reichenbachsynagogue, exists the Possartsynagogue (also Orthodox) and Beth Shalom (Reform).

An unforgettable side trip to the memorial of the former Dachau concentration camp is scheduled as well. Conference organizers hope to attract over 100 attendees from ten European countries, Israel and the United States.

Early bird registration is due by April 30, 2001 and costs 270,00 DM (US$130.00). After that date, regular registration costs 320,00 DM (US$155.00).

To keep the conference financially accessible, registration scholarships and home hospitality are being made available.

April 27-29: Pilgrimage to Hebrew Union College-Jewish Institute of Religion (HUC-JIR), Cincinnati, OH. Visit the oldest rabbinical seminary in the United States, celebrate Shabbat in the historic Plum Street. Temple, study with professors from HUC-JIR, visit the American Jewish Archives and the Rare Book Room of the Klau Library. A bus caravan is planned from the tri-state area.

December 5-9: UAHC General Assembly, Boston, MA. Join 4000 other Reform leaders from around the world to study, meet, and learn synagogue networking skills.